---
title: Absence and Absconding
description: "**1. Purpose and ethos** Children and young people sometimes leave or stay away from their foster home when they feel frightened, overwhelmed, unsafe or drawn to people/places connected with earlier experiences. Our collective objective is to **understand the need beneath…"
url: "https://handbook.co.uk/docs/absence-and-absconding/"
updated: "2025-10-21"
category: Foster Carer Handbook
tags:
  - Going Missing
---

# Absence and Absconding

**1. Purpose and ethos**

Children and young people sometimes leave or stay away from their foster home when they feel frightened, overwhelmed, unsafe or drawn to people/places connected with earlier experiences. Our collective objective is to **understand the need beneath the behaviour, keep them safe, and strengthen their sense of security and belonging**. Your actions as a foster carer can powerfully communicate “You matter and we will keep looking until we know you are safe”.

**2. Preparation and proactive safety planning**

1. **Relationship first** – invest daily in warmth, predictability and genuine curiosity about the child’s inner world; this lowers the likelihood of flight responses.
2. **Individual Safety Pl**an – at the Placement Planning Meeting (PPM) and recorded in the Individual Placement Agreement (IPA) and Child Safer Caring Policy (SCP):
   - likely triggers (e.g. anniversaries, contact sessions);
   - agreed *“safe word / phrase”* the child can use to ask for help without drawing attention;
   - preferred calming strategies and trusted adults they will talk to;
   - permissions for technology (e.g. life‑360, FindMy), agreed with the placing authority under the **Delegated Authority Policy**.
3. **Grab Pack** – complete and keep updated (photo, description, meds, risks, known addresses, digital usernames). Also store digitally in the Recording System in line with the **Missing from Care Policy**.
4. **Practicalities** – plan how you will collect a child from a police station or friend’s house late at night (backup driver / babysitter).

**3. Definitions (see Missing from Care Policy)**

- **Absent without authority** – child is at a known safe location but refusing to return at the agreed time.
- **Missing** – whereabouts unknown or they are not safe and need immediate intervention.
  Recording must use these definitions so that data is accurate across the agency.

**4. Immediate response guide**

| **Step** | **Trauma‑informed considerations** | **Core action (policy reference)** |
| --- | --- | --- |
| **1 – Notice** child is late or has left abruptly | Check *“Am I feeling anxious or angry?”* Regulate yourself first. | Confirm expected return time per IPA/SCP. |
| **2 – Gentle contact** | Send calm, non‑blaming message: “It’s getting late and I’m feeling worried – are you safe?” | Phone, text, social media per **Missing from Care Policy**. |
| **3 – Locate / verify** | Gather info from friends respectfully – avoid shaming language (“Is X okay? We want them home safe.”) | Record attempts in log (time, who, outcome). |
| **4 – Assess threshold** | Use Risk Matrix: age, weather, mental state, exploitation indicators. | Decide ‘Absent’ vs ‘Missing’. Consult SSW / OOH if unsure. |
| **5A – ABSENT** (known location) | Validate feelings: “Sounds like you need space. Let’s plan a safe way home.” | Agree return/collect time. If refusal persists → move to 5B. |
| **5B – MISSING** (unknown/unsafe) | Remind yourself the child may be in survival mode. | Report to Police (101) – obtain CAD no. Notify LA EDT and agency OOH. |
| **6 – Ongoing care** | Continue calm texts: “You’re not in trouble, we just want you safe.” | Update professionals of any contact. |
| **7 – Return** | *Reconnect before request*. Offer food, drink, warmth. | Cancel Police alert. Record ‘Safe & Well’ check outcome. |
| **8 – Repair & learn** (within 24 h) | Use PACE debrief: *Curiosity* (“What was happening for you?”), *Empathy* (“That sounds scary.”). Co‑create new safety step. | Complete Incident Report; update Risk Assessment; schedule Return‑Home Interview (external or social worker). |

**5. Recording and notifications**

- **Incident Report** to agency within 24 h (Recording Policy).
- Update the child’s Risk Assessment and SCP the next working day.
- Any episode meeting ‘Notifiable Incident’ criteria (e.g. missing > 24 h, serious harm) must be escalated under the **Notifiable Incidents & Significant Events Procedure** and Ofsted informed within 24 h (agency role).

**6. Reflective support for carers**

Repeated missing episodes are taxing. Please contact your Supervising Social Worker (SSW) for a **Reflective Consultation** and consider the Support Group or PAT mentor for additional peer support. Compassion‑fatigue is real; looking after yourself models healthy regulation for the child.

**7. Further reading / resources**

- **Missing from Care Policy** – statutory detail & grab‑pack template.
- **Behaviour Management Policy & Guidance** – trauma‑responsive strategies.
- **Safeguarding Policy** – thresholds for exploitation and Section 47 enquiries.
- **Recording Toolkit** – step‑by‑step guide with example language.

**Key message for carers:** *A missing episode is a communication of need, not a personal rejection. Stay connected, stay curious, and let the child know they are worth coming home to.*